My kidneys feel like they're eating eachother or maybe karate kicking one another. Maybe a medical person can explain this to me....why does everything hurt when you're sick? My kidneys, knees and that one part of your back that you cant scratch all that well hurt like a mo' fo for no good reason. Ontop of that im coughing so hard i almost vommed.....disgusting. Being sick does have one saving grace though....generic nyquil capsules from walmart. Food of the GODS!!! Ok not really but they do knock you on your ass. Wandering in and out of my state of delerium ive been thinking about people that i miss. People from highschool whose company I really truly enjoyed and havent seen much of....i miss meg and scott and megan....actually all of the megans i was friends with in highschool. And i miss leann, not because i havent spoken to her, but she so damn hard to get ahold of. There's tons of people i miss, both named and not, who im not quite sure why we're not friends anymore. Part of me thinks its my fault and part of me thinks that i just wasnt that memorable or enjoyable to keep in touch with.....who knows, but regardless i miss alot of people all the same.I really wish i could get started on my short stories but i dont feel like i have the attenion span or the motor skills for it. I also think that part of my lack of motivation is that i dont feel appreciated as a writer by many people and one in particluar. I consider myself a writer because i know how to do tons of different kinds of writing, and i know how to do them quite well. The Foghorns wouldnt show my article to the editor of the onion if it wasnt good. Pam wouldnt put my poem up on blackbird if it wasnt good. So why do i feel so rejected as a writer? Cause i dont think ive earned some people's respect and i dont really know how to. Every time i write in the poetry sense i try to push myself to do something different and outside of the box, yet as good as i or pam or anyone else thinks it is, some people totally disregard it. Im trying for internships now and i really hope i get one....i recently watched the show "Im from rolling stone" and i feel as though those people didnt deserve to be there. Well, a few of them did, like Krish or Tika or that dirty hippie guy whose name i cant remember. But the poet, the deliquent and that australian crew team guy, im not quite sure why Jann gave them a spot....my guess is because it makes for good TV....but that shouldnt be a reason, people should be hired because they have the talent and the drive to be a good music reporter not because the poems they wrote are award winning or because the shit someone wrote in juvi or drunk looks promising. Oh by the way all of you kids out there in blogger land....i had to get glasses. Just for reading....cause i tend to squint at the chalkboard during class. I realized it was a problem when i was squinting and something and one of my classmates thought i was making a face at her.....good job megan....i felt like a tool. Its gonna be wierd adjusting though cause im so used to wearing glasses for style not for function. Its going to be even weirder that my glasses look very similar to tucker and mike's glasses. Mind you im not trying to copy, but everything else they had at the glasses store were really hidious. I kind of wish i had the money to go town to Optix in milwaukee and buy some trendy glasses, but alas, i am poor so no, no trendy glasses for me.
