Let's Swaddle Ourselves In Pink! (You stupid mother fuckers...)

Wal-mart is putting me through hell this week. I'm working like 35 hours even though I requested a max of 25....thanks assholes. I feel very detached from what is going on this week, and I'm tired.Today at work I had three different people ask me what I did before I started working at Walmart (In reference to my excuse when I screwed up and said "Sorry, this is only my second day working here....ever.) And I tell them back, "Well, during the school year I write and take photos for a living..." and in return I get a reaction of both confusion and well....no, just pretty much confusion. The kind of "What the hell are you doing working here?" kind of look. Quite honestly guys....I dont know what I'm doing there either. Oh, wait...I know... I'm slowly drying up the money I saved during the school year and need some more to take its place.I'm pretty sure im quitting at the end of august...not because I hate it, but because I just flat out wont have the time to work there as much as they expect me to. (and just a little bit because I hate it) But that feels so lazy of me. There are tons of people that HATE their job far more than I do and they still suck it up and do it. Eh, this week sucks.I've determined also that I really dislike the "withholding dance" that people do in the initial stages of a relationship. And I dont mean the awkward "I dont know if he likes me" stuff... cause thats just stupid. I mean the not letting someone in...i might call you whenever... kind of stuff. Maybe im just not that kind of person. I really like to throw myself headfirst into getting to know someone, and them me. I'll be an open fucking book if you ask the right questions. Perhaps there really is a point and I just dont know it... if you do, please tell me.I think, that at some point I am going to write a book titled: "Women are bat shit crazy." I dont know if it will be a work of non-fiction, or an actual story, or even a collection of shorts about different women and how as normal as they may be are kind of irrational psychos.I found out today that I can move in early to my new apartment, which, to say the least. Makes me ridiculously happy. I'm so sick of this tiny, dirty apartment....all the spiders on the front door... the lack of an actual kitchen & living room, not some wierd bastardized version of the two. We move in on the 22...so, less than one month. I wonder who will get the bigger room... eh, peggy and I will scrap for it out in the parking lot....or maybe we'll just flip a coin. Im guessing the later of the two. Its times like these that I wish my mom were still around... you know, just so i could tell her what is going on in my life... I've come to the semi-conclusion that I have no clue where a person goes when they die. No clue about religion for that matter. Perhaps Im Agnostic. Or maybe a Deist. I believe that there is a god... hell, I'd go as far to believe that Jesus existed... if that is the case, he must be awfully sore over the fact that he was tortured to save souls and those souls are so very very corrupt. Will they figure it out? I dont think so. Fire and Brimstone it is! I spent years going to christian summer camps, watching people have these crazy religious experiences, crying, sobbing, praying, convulsing around to "The heart of worship" and I wondered... How come I never had one of those experiences? I'm starting to believe that those people hallucinated their "jesus experiences" just to find an answer to something they thought was answer less. Does this make sense to anyone else but me?? I dunno.The lack of mental stimulation at work is killing me. Which is probably why I am so excited to get back to work at the paper. I could see myself doing something similar the rest of my life, and knowing that makes me smile. I love writing stories both fiction (although im not very good at it yet) and not, and I love taking photos, and i love meeting new people and picking their brains. That might be weird... but I dont care.Im so glad Susan is coming up on my day off. I need me some cynical Susie action! I finally feel like I'm kinda on her level. Not in the sense that I understand all of her fancy-pants references to stuff I've never learned, but the fact that I understand at least a little what the life of an artist is like.My mind is jumping, but my body is tired....I'm going to bed.SEACREST OUT!!PS: I got hit on by 60+ year old men today....and it was adorable!