I Am Me

Yes, I know its an Ashlee Simpson album, but its also what i need to figure out. Pastor Jean thought it best to organize all of the things that I know about myself to help sort things out. So here it goes.I am MeganI love taking photos of flowers.I like to write about anything, events, stories, poems, I like doing it allI like learning new things about my trade.I want to be a good writer.I want to be a mom someday (I also would love to adopt/foster a child that needs care)Little things make me happy, like taking a walk on a warm pleasant day or a good breakfast on a lazy saturday moring or buying bulk foods from the organic grocery store or sticking my hand into the bead bin at satoris or taking a drive down a country road, singing off key at the top of my lungs.I've learned about myself that I dont need any one big thing to BE happy. I dont need to be in a certain location like oshkosh or chigago or at home, I can be happy where I am because i know what i need to be happy.I want someone to share my life with.I love having friends that I can talk to.I dont want to end up like my mom. I do miss her and love her very much, and i know that she loved me with all of her heart, and at times (as she's written in her journal) she didnt feel worthy of being my mother. But my mom never kept her promises to herself. And because she didnt keep them, she was depressed constantly. It seemed like a cycle: Make a goal, abandon the goal, get depressed when goal isnt acheived, set goal again. She was stuck, and she had no one to blame but herself because she never bothered to tell my dad any of it. I firmly believe that a person needs at least some sort of support system for any change they want to do.I dont want to be, and i feel like i am no longer the following things:negativecattyjudgementalwhineyirrational (except when its that time of the month, thats hard to control)Cranky (although sometimes its ok within reason)blunt (the bad kind)uncaring to anyone.I want to care and be cared for.