Exhale (what comes next?)

The Walter chapter of my life is now officially closed. We talked last night, and I think that now that everything has been said and done, it was one of the most sane breakups I've ever had (not really, but the aftermath was far less painful). We both now know what we did wrong, and in the future how to keep that out of new relationships. It was polite, and not the sarcastic kind of polite, but the kind where we figured out that it all doesn't work and just wanted to let the dust settle. We might still talk, but who knows if we could be friends in the future.It feels like I finally pulled the giant monkey off my back, like after that conversation, that the pressure I've been feeling for weeks has finally released.So, what comes next?I really don't know.I've been thinking about what I want to do after college. I'm 100% sure I don't want to stay in Oshkosh. I already feel like I'm dry rotting here. I've established myself as a photographer...but I want to do more with it. Photojournalist? Maybe. I'm working on becoming a better writer...taking baby steps at least. I feel bad for pestering Mike about my script for the past week. I guess I'm just really impatient about it... actually, I am in general, and I don't like it.This week I fit back into jeans I wore in high school. Jeans that I haven't been able to wear since spring semester of last year when I dropped a lot of weight...that's really quite exciting to me cause I was afraid that me gaining weight back would be stuck there forever but its not, as long as I put effort into it.Oh, and for all of you that enjoy shitty music, check out Lil' Mama's "Lip gloss" its a fucking masterpiece.

Something Funny Happened on the Way to Bed...

Ok, about to turn in...Had random thought about blogs i hadnt read in a while....Ran across these gems....The Five Stages of Grief:1. Denial - Shit aint real, son...2. Whiskey - Internally, externally, whatever...3. New Found Glory - I'm pretty sure step three is New Found Glory...4. Anger - Generally facilitated by step 2...5. Baggage - You gotta have something to torment the next girl with...-And-Me: Vista, let me change the default user.Vista: MEEP! Nope. Can. Not.Me: Please, stop alerting me everytime anything runs. Disable alerts. Click.Vista: ALERT! Are you sure you want to disable alerts?Me: Yes.Vista: Reboot! Allow me to spontaneous reactivate alerts by alerting you that I'm throwing alerts.Me: Vista, SAFETY DANCE.Vista: S-A-F-E-T-Y. Look at your hands. Reboot please.Me: Are you sure you're Premium?Vista: Yes, Basic comes with a built in ballpuncher.Me: Vista, download pr0n. Erection, stat!Vista: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!Man I love Harvey...

Ah yes, ain't that fresh

I have really come to love Arrested Development. The characters are all just so wonderfully hilarious. I want to be able to write a story with that much color but I just dont feel inspired. I dont hang out with or know all to many wildly rediculous people. Erika has her mom, which has inspiried piles of stories. I read Ryan's roomate Tyler's Bat Killa story as well as his other posts on facebook which too are just wonderfully hilarious. (Side note: he should really consider a minor in creative writing) Maybe I'm not meant to write about humor seeing as how most of my life hasnt been deffined by hilarious moments, but instead by moments that are both tragic and dissapointing. Heh, we'll see what happens there.I need to get more organized. For the longest time Ive been one of those students of chaos theory, and it works pretty well until I have a deadline for something that requires me finding paperwork in my room. So perhaps I'll just clean my room.....or at least keep it clean until I move to my new place where there will be more room to shove stuff in to my floor to ceiling mirrored closets.....I know you're jealous, its ok. Imagine the possibility of mirrored closets, I know I can, and its awesome!I am so totally ready to move out and into our new place. My room is not very conducive to hanging out, nor is the main room. It looks nothing like a living room. And my bedroom is good for nothing more than laying around in my bed...fun. Less than two months away.I took my bike out for a ride today, all the way up to the vinnies on bowen. I needed another picture frame and i picked up this super ugly coffee cup that I plan to grow some foliage in. For those of you that dont know, the first monday of every month is 1/2 off everything in the store. So i got my sweet coffee cup and my picture frame for the low low price of 53 cents.I'm kinda sad that I havent gotten a call back from Kevin yet about working on stuff for next year, but perhaps hes busy with his internship. I really wish i would have gotten one, but to be quite honest, i did not try all that hard.

Iceland....really?

I was given the opportunity recently.....well, the option more like it, to go to Icleand for a music festival. One of the bands that I interviewed last semester was from Iceland, and their lead singer is a journalist/writer. He used to work for a publication called the Reykjavik Grapevine and the Grapevine is looking for writers for this festival. Bart, since hes a wonderfully helpful person wanted to know if I was interested and if he should pass my name along to the editors. Music festival.....Icleand.....Indie bands......would you say no?I sure as hell wouldnt. So Bart's talking to his editors, the only problem is Iceland Air usually sponsors the flights for the writers to Iceland. And because I'm from such a small publication, they didnt know if the airline would sponsor my flight....so we'll see what happens.The festival is in October, and i just looked up the list of bands, and although I've heard of alot of them, I've listened to barely any. So, in the spirit of being prepared, and enjoying new music, I'm picking up stuff on the following bands:Icelandic Bands:AMPOPBenni Hemm HemmBenny Crespo's GangDiktaEsjaFM BelfastGavin PortlandGus GusHjaltalínJeff Who?MammútMotion BoysmúmRetro StefsonReykjavik!SeabearShadow ParadeSignSprengjuhöllinSteed LordUltra Mega Technobandið StefánEbergKira KiraLay LowMugisonMy Summer as a Salvation Soldier (Þórir)Ólöf ArnaldsPétur BenInternational Bands:!!! Annuals Best Fwends Bloc PartyBonde do Role Boys in a Band Chromeo of Montreal Ra Ra Riot Buck 65 Jenny Wilson Thats alot 0' music....Im starting with the international bands.....of Montreal, Ra Ra Riot and Bloc Party are my first three......Can someone get burned out on music?? I sure hope not!

Let's Swaddle Ourselves In Pink! (You stupid mother fuckers...)

Wal-mart is putting me through hell this week. I'm working like 35 hours even though I requested a max of 25....thanks assholes. I feel very detached from what is going on this week, and I'm tired.Today at work I had three different people ask me what I did before I started working at Walmart (In reference to my excuse when I screwed up and said "Sorry, this is only my second day working here....ever.) And I tell them back, "Well, during the school year I write and take photos for a living..." and in return I get a reaction of both confusion and well....no, just pretty much confusion. The kind of "What the hell are you doing working here?" kind of look. Quite honestly guys....I dont know what I'm doing there either. Oh, wait...I know... I'm slowly drying up the money I saved during the school year and need some more to take its place.I'm pretty sure im quitting at the end of august...not because I hate it, but because I just flat out wont have the time to work there as much as they expect me to. (and just a little bit because I hate it) But that feels so lazy of me. There are tons of people that HATE their job far more than I do and they still suck it up and do it. Eh, this week sucks.I've determined also that I really dislike the "withholding dance" that people do in the initial stages of a relationship. And I dont mean the awkward "I dont know if he likes me" stuff... cause thats just stupid. I mean the not letting someone in...i might call you whenever... kind of stuff. Maybe im just not that kind of person. I really like to throw myself headfirst into getting to know someone, and them me. I'll be an open fucking book if you ask the right questions. Perhaps there really is a point and I just dont know it... if you do, please tell me.I think, that at some point I am going to write a book titled: "Women are bat shit crazy." I dont know if it will be a work of non-fiction, or an actual story, or even a collection of shorts about different women and how as normal as they may be are kind of irrational psychos.I found out today that I can move in early to my new apartment, which, to say the least. Makes me ridiculously happy. I'm so sick of this tiny, dirty apartment....all the spiders on the front door... the lack of an actual kitchen & living room, not some wierd bastardized version of the two. We move in on the 22...so, less than one month. I wonder who will get the bigger room... eh, peggy and I will scrap for it out in the parking lot....or maybe we'll just flip a coin. Im guessing the later of the two. Its times like these that I wish my mom were still around... you know, just so i could tell her what is going on in my life... I've come to the semi-conclusion that I have no clue where a person goes when they die. No clue about religion for that matter. Perhaps Im Agnostic. Or maybe a Deist. I believe that there is a god... hell, I'd go as far to believe that Jesus existed... if that is the case, he must be awfully sore over the fact that he was tortured to save souls and those souls are so very very corrupt. Will they figure it out? I dont think so. Fire and Brimstone it is! I spent years going to christian summer camps, watching people have these crazy religious experiences, crying, sobbing, praying, convulsing around to "The heart of worship" and I wondered... How come I never had one of those experiences? I'm starting to believe that those people hallucinated their "jesus experiences" just to find an answer to something they thought was answer less. Does this make sense to anyone else but me?? I dunno.The lack of mental stimulation at work is killing me. Which is probably why I am so excited to get back to work at the paper. I could see myself doing something similar the rest of my life, and knowing that makes me smile. I love writing stories both fiction (although im not very good at it yet) and not, and I love taking photos, and i love meeting new people and picking their brains. That might be weird... but I dont care.Im so glad Susan is coming up on my day off. I need me some cynical Susie action! I finally feel like I'm kinda on her level. Not in the sense that I understand all of her fancy-pants references to stuff I've never learned, but the fact that I understand at least a little what the life of an artist is like.My mind is jumping, but my body is tired....I'm going to bed.SEACREST OUT!!PS: I got hit on by 60+ year old men today....and it was adorable!